Gin (anyplacebuthere) wrote,
Gin
anyplacebuthere

On Liam being 10 months old

I swear that he just gets more fun every day. There is so much, so much that I could say, but lately I've lost words. I just can't find them. That's not to say I haven't looked, but they must be hiding pretty well because my journal sounds like a record on repeat. I just say the same things over and over again.

So Liam is now 10 months old. Still sometimes I find it hard to believe that he's mine. It's funny how now matter how prepared you are to become a mother, there are two things that will surprise you: 1) How much you love your child, and 2) How hard it is to believe that this little person is yours. Yes, we've all heard this. I heard it too before he actually came, but it must be one of those "universal truths" that people keep talking about, because it's absolutely unrefutable. This little guy is so bright, so curious, and so intense. He has the most expressive eyebrows; everything he wants to say he manages to convey with his eyebrows. But he still talks constantly. He's also a lefty.

His father still refuses to acknowledge his existence. I'm not sure whether I should continue trying to contact him or if I should just let it go.

What do you do when you love someone who loves you back, but you just feel like you love them more than they love you? Like it's just a little bit off-balance?

They say that the brightest babies have trouble sleeping because they just can't tune out the things around them, because their curiosities just can't be sated. I have to say, that did bring some comfort to me during those first 10 months in which he refused to sleep through the night. Why is it that, by chance, every other mother or father I met with a baby told me that their infant was sleeping through the night after the first 2 weeks of life, while mine was waking up at least twice a night until he was almost 10 months old? Finally, he goes to sleep: 1) Without a bottle, 2) Without crying, 3) Without being rocked to sleep and 4) Completely on his own in his bed. It's so nice.

It's also funny how he now makes it worth it not to be able to just go out and see more of the world (yet). I'd much rather be his mom than be on my own and traveling the world. Funny how that works. But I would still love to take him to see the world when we are able. He especially needs to see Spain and Holland.
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